365 v.34 (046-060)
Don’t make art that doesn’t make you happy. Just remember: Some people will never see past the perceptions of you that they’ve committed themselves to.
Dear, you deserve better. You should be free.
046/365
My father-in-law’s birthday celebrations… smiley.
047/365
I feel like I am my own worst enemy when it comes to rest and recharging. I try so hard to keep up with a world that isn’t designed for me. I’ve felt really grateful for these gaming nights.
048/365
Summer nights like this, hot and sticky and loud with cicadas, make me feel so at peace. I will never be a morning person.
049/365
Moonlit night. Lots of bats, clouds, and stars.
050/365
This skeleton is inside me at all times. I take folders for copies of my imaging and records to every appointment; this is something I learned to do the hard way, when things were lost, leading to months of avoidable headaches. This is the first time I’ve seen my fleshy outline so clearly, along with my nose piercing.
051/365
Pazuzu is keeping a secret for me.
052/365
Movin’ along. Takin’ my time.
053/365
Textured and hidden in monochrome.
054/365
While the hurricane was blissfully downgraded into a tropical storm by the time it hit us, we still tried to take advantage of the downtime together. Dad joined us for one of our subscription mystery games. Here he is, annoyed by my insistence he pose for a photo.
055/365
I pushed myself too hard on this day.
056/365
The August cicadas are droning on and on, but I don’t mind at all. When I was a kid, this sound heralded the last gasps of summer before school was around the corner. I like to sit with the sound now, in the heat and the sunlight, and lose myself a bit. Summer used to be such a big deal. I always had so much anxiety going back to school, feeling endlessly Othered, feeling overwhelmed at disadvantages and performance, feeling depressed and clueless about my needs. This Summer hasn’t been what I pictured for myself this year, it almost feels like when I was a kid and wondering why I didn’t or couldn’t do more of this or that, but it’s okay. Things are different now and things will change again. My eyes show how exhausted I’ve been, but I’m trying to soften to my own needs some more. One day at a time. I had to learn from scratch.
057/365
Sinking and tugging; a reflection on the times I was powerless or gave my power away. For most of my life, I was frozen or avoidant, I slipped beneath the surface of myself. That was how I learned to survive; that was all she knew. I am rooted in my own power now, constantly seeking out what self-protection really feels like. I only surrender to myself now.
058/365
I don’t haunt you because you were good to me. Your creeping dread late at night is only the fear you have for the truth of yourself.
059/365
Ramp to bed. Yes, he’s spoiled.
060/365
Late night Dead By Daylight with my friends. Every once in a while I throw on these glasses to help with the strain of how insanely hard I game. (Haha.)